Anything interesting going on in the news?

I have somehow managed to not update this while under quarantine… mostly because i’ve been learning to build guitars from kits and also because I’m lazy. There’s been nothing to distract from 2HTS, though, so I’ve got three songs to add.

The first theme we got was toilet paper, so I wrote this:

conserve your toilet tissue
use both sides
you have to stockpile toilet paper
to prove you're wise

after devastation by Chinese Space AIDS
we will rise up and organize paper product raids

conserve your toilet paper
use your hand
or be like a kitty cat
wipe with sand

toilet tissue running out
my filthy butthole makes me shout,
"why weren't we prepared?!"
squeeze the Charmin you must die
don't you bother asking why
we weren't prepared

after devastation by Chinese Space AIDS
we will rise up and organize paper product raids

Since This Complete Breakfast hasn’t been able to rehearse, I reorganized the jam space we have in my living room to try playing everything at once live in one take. Working a kick drum, doing vocals, playing chords on a keyboard with my right hand and fretting notes on the guitar with my left all at once sounds easy. It is not. So, you can hear me lose the tempo in spots but it was fun to try. I ordered a dedicated drum machine and a bass synth to try this again with a little less multitasking. The theme was Raspberries:

raspberries are sour
raspberries are tart
raspberries get blown
it sounds like a fart
ohhhh raspberries
stick out your tongue
between your lips
add a little air
and a lot of spit
ohhhh raspberries

Finally, we had a theme of Cornflakes. I went back to my roots of trying to make any theme I’m given into a ‘dirty’ song. I think I succeeded.

It's the most important meal of the day...

Whip out your udders
it's time to make breakfast
this cereal's dry
fill the bowl with breast milk!
why do you make that face?
There's none left in the fridge
i can't enjoy my cornflakes
unless they have been drenched

aim your nipple at the middle of the bowl
squeeze your titty until milk comes out the hole (X2)
My corn flakes need some milk! (X3)
and you're the one that makes it

i don't think it's fair
to say the baby will go hungry
so please show that you care
you make enough to share
all that i am asking
is for you to do your part
helping me make breakfast
is that a bridge too far?

aim your nipple at the middle of the bowl
squeeze your titty until milk comes out the hole (X3)
My cornflakes need some milk!
and you're the one that makes it... Guitar!

Stay safe everyone!